lucy wightman

Now armed with a bag of googly eyes and glue I descended on my friend Leah’s house one week after showing her this video. I glued googly eyes to a basil plant. Leah arrived home after a day of neighbor problems and the googly eyes frightened her, thinking they were a message from the neighbor… something like… “I am watching you.” She called the police. I can only imagine the dispatch recording.

911 can I help you? Your call is recorded.

Yes, someone, maybe my neighbor, put googly eyes on my basil.

Maam?

He is watching me.

The police responded due to some other incidents, the googly eyes being the tipping point.

I should read. Reading is too hard for the dead of night. Reading has too many words in it. Including words I might not know. If I read a word I don’t know, I will feel compelled to scrawl it on whatever piece of paper is on my bedside table and then hope that I’ll be able to read my writing tomorrow, and will remember to look up the word in the dictionary. If I am too lazy to write down the word, I will have to make a decision about whether to dog-ear the page—bad reader citizenship!—and I don’t want the burden of that choice now, in the middle of the night.

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Apparently this is a friend of my father’s - this is hysterically funny - be sure to watch the whole thing!