Pedestrian Rights in Hull
Lucy WightmanPedestrian Rights in Hull
Here in Hull, pedestrians cross, or lollygag, from wherever to wherever, often with nothing short of invincible entitlement. Crossers get positive feedback for their pedestrian wiles from resident drivers (but not visitors so much) who stop, smiling and waving.
That’s so nice, I thought, when I first moved here. Putting the brakes on in deference to a pedestrian, even when he or she is crossing at a slow lob, diagonally or gesticulating to some cell phone conversation is a feel good opportunity never to be missed. I will be the nicest person to pedestrians, I thought. But really, it is like getting free asshole points because it is an easy thing to do. It has nothing at all to do with nice or not-so-nice.
My feeling is that the more of a perceived asshole the pedestrian is, the more points I get for the day. Now I can manufacture levels of assholeness should I need more points, but then this is bound to skew the actual balance so I tend to overcompensate. I would have to say that the diagonal crossing is among the most obvious so concocting an intention behind the pedestrians need to walk sideway is easy.
In the pedestrian-crossing-driver-braking-fluff world I see I have lost an edge. I received an email from a friend worthy of including here. It is what inspired me to jot this down.
I can say that I avoid passing in front of a car in preference to passing behind. In fact, It really bothers me that pedestrians have right of way on roads. If someone stops to let me cross, even tho I’m away from the curb, the feeling is one of anoyance. I don’t get anything out of trusting someone to not run me over. Priority for me is…keep traffic moving. like a train. Pedestrians should have to deal with cars…not the other way around. The laws of physics favor the pedestrian as far as staying out of the way. Meaning, to not step in front of a moving car is physically infinately more do-able than stopping a 3000 lb car on a dime. But the law is the law.
I love that line about not getting anything out of trusting others not to run him over. He is so right on the money! What an idiot I am thinking that I am really getting points for stopping. I even started to delude myself thinking that the farther away I stopped the better kind of person I was. Oh sure, so when I see that albino prosecutor Dave Andrews again he will look at me lovingly and say, “I was so wrong about you.” Puh.
I ignore that nagging irritation while off my curb and I shouldn’t. What if I just want to stand off the curb? I sprint across when someone stops as if to say, “Buster, listen, I really care about how you just went out of your way for me and I am going to show you by gazelling it and collapsing once I arrive to the other side.”
If I do not cross to appease the driver who is waving me across then I feel like the driver will hate me, or call me a loser, or think I am taunting him or her. I have even crossed when I wasn’t going anywhere over there so the driver would feel good about him or herself. I cannot identify when I took this whole “caring” thing over the edge but it must stop.
To this end, I imagine myself doing a half-grapevine off the curb, freezing for each passing car, and then boogying in half steps up and down the curb once the driver becomes annoyed. While driving maybe I will “accidentally” slip onto the gas while in neutral, gunning my Mazaratti and seeing if there is any curb dancing. Or if a would-be crosser-over refuses to move just put my car in park, turn off the engine, and pick my fingernails with a golf tee. I wonder what would happen if while crossing, I just got into the passenger side door of the person’s car.
Have any of you tried this kind of thing before? What would you suggest?
Reader Comments (14)
OMG this is too funny!! I can relate to ALL of it. There's a game where you get points for hitting the pedestrians.......sadistic.......but maybe we can work out our frustration with it. Or maybe a gentler approach, like padded bumpers, so when we hit them, they just bounce! Ooopsy!!
I must agree that Hull drivers are considerate of crossers. Are we saying or are you saying that there should not be crosswalks either or that it should just not be the law to have to stop when someone is at one? I must say that I am one who abides by crosswalks when crossing, for the most part. If both sides are clear I'll run across anywhere. I don't think
j- walking laws are enforced around here. I do tend to gazelle across as to not hold up traffic but do prefer crossing when sides are completely clear.
The ultimately worse lollygaggers live in the city of Brockton. I won't go into further detail but they really piss me off! If a driver is polite to stop then get your butt moving, go and get out of the way! I do my best to stop at crosswalks but unfortunately don't always see poeple in time even with my glasses on.. I usually apologize as I speed pass them even though they cannot hear me.
As far as the trusting a driver not to plow us down, I find that funny. Now please know that I would never do this to anyone but a couple weeks ago with my niece in the car I had a group of people walk in front of me. They proceeded to just, I guess, lollygag there and I said to her.. we have so much control over other peoples lives. I could have just ended those #%@#ing @&#*&%#@ lives. She looked at me extremely shocked! They really irritated me!
Thanks for this funny conversation. If you are looking for a suggestion I'd like to see you get into the passengers seat of the car that stops for you! Just be aware they may not arrest for j- walking but be cautious you are not mistaken for a you- know- what!
Oh and Shirley I think you get extra points for old people.. how cruel!
What about the people on bicycles that for some reason think it's okay to ride on the road with cars? They can't do the speed no matter how fast they pedal to keep up! and I don't care if they use their hand signals. C'mon, get on the sidewalk where you belong. How many points do you get for knocking someone off their bike?
It is the opposite in Texas. There are no laws for pedestrians and you better friggin run in a crosswalk cause those sick old Southerners try on purpose to run your as over.
oops meant ass. sorry i am so old and can't see!
Oh Noooo!! Chris is in my head.. check it...
They say I'm crazy but I have a good time
My Maserati does 185
took down a lollygagger
lost my license now I don't drive
have a limo
ride in the back
I lock the doors in case Lucy attacks!
Okay come back at that Chris! What have you got??
Luc, you have a comeback??? C'mon we got the music in us, we got the music in us! ; )
I wish I read this post last night after I had a couple of beers, but here you go Joanne, stone cold sober at 6am. Maybe Holly would have a different version!
Get my moped runnin’
Head out to the island
Lookin’ for adventure
And whatever comes my way
Here in Hull pedestrians rule
Lollygagging from side to side
Stop your ride, flash a smile
Make yourself feel good for a while
I like sunshine and flowers
I’m terrified of thunder
Being warm and fuzzy
And the feelin’ that I’m under
Asshole points never cross my mind
Take the world in a love embrace
Let the walkers cross the road
Be sure to give them plenty of space
Like a true nature’s child
I was born, born to be mild
I can be so kind
I never wanna lie
Born to be mild
Born to be mild
Hey, thought Holly was going away?
Okay let me have a couple, think on this and come back... awesome Chris!
Okay I'm back. I see what you mean about the alcohol gettin' the creative juices flowin' Chris. After a long day mixed up some appletinis in celebration of Sue's birthday! Happy Birthday again Sue!
Now first things first.. please don't anyone take offense to this. I do not think we have become off subject even though it has turned into song.. it's just a case of 'Chris in the brain'! And I believe this posting was all in fun so don't sick the blog police on me. I do not wish to offend anyone nor especially Lucy. It's just nice to have communication goin' again. Put. I love when Lucy says that.. put... okay, so here's what I've got...
You don't know what I got
it's my little Luc Coupe
Well I'm no asshole so don't put me down
But I've got the fastest set of wheels in Hull
If you think you're gonna gazelle across don't even try
cause I'll flatten you man know I can fly
She's my little Luc Coupe
Don't even try
You don't know what I've got
she'll ride right over you while you're still standin'
She'll do 140 with the top end floored
She's my little Luc Coupe
You don't know what I've got
She's got a competition clutch with four on the floor
and she purrs like a lobster till the oceans roar
And if that ain't enough to flip you
There's one thing more, get out of my #@&*in' way
comin' off the light when it goes green
I'll blow you outta my way like you never seen
When I get rubber in all four wheels
She's my little Luc Coupe
You don't know what I got
so get outta my *#@*in' way!!!
Okay Holly all yours...
Like many others round here, I've been in and out. Chris, you bet your A$$ I'd have a different version, but I'm too depressed to write right now. I think Cyndi Lauper is inching me out for the National Director of Fun appointment. I guess she's half qualified, but what I want to know is what is she going to do for the boys? They just wanna have fun too!
Hi Holly.. I hope this depression subsides soon. I have been feeling better more recently. Lean on others.. I'm always here. C. take good care of H. All my love to you.. and big hugs...
I don't understand this asshole points thing at all. I Stop for people who are clearly having trouble crossing the road, but as a pedestrian, it has happened that someone will stop for me, and I had no intent on crossing. What the heck is that about? , I've wondered. And after reading here...and googling "asshole points".... Think I'll just have to wave people on if i sense their going to stop? or stay hidden till the last moment then dash. Avoiding the differences In the pedestrian-crossing-driver-braking-fluff world equilibrium.
And Chris...love your poem :) Sounded like me. Including the moped , adventure, islands, (Worked as 1st mate aboard 53' cat. out of St. Thomas...:) and born to be mild, thats me.
Wow, a 53' cat out of St. Thomas, how cool is that! I'd love to be there right now...I think I'll plan a trip in my mind right now to St. John.
camping at St. John , where we sailed and beached at everyday is my way to go as far as a vaca. You can always shop! But to live the island life...ahhhhhh. But as good as it is, there's an expression, on t-shirts even...It's another shitty day in paradise. I grew to know the truth of these words. Still...wouldn't trade my memories for anything :) I checked (googled) on my old home(the boat, called Ho-Tei) recently, after knowing it had gone up on the reef at Belongo Bay, and discovered the dream trip still existed. (tho at 10 times the price! used to be 15$ for an all day sail to St. John!!! in 79') The catamaran is now called "Heavenly Days", out of Belongo Bay(which is now huge compared to my time there.) If you need any images for your trip(in your head) I got plenty to share :) :) :)