Sunday
15Feb2009
What Does It Mean?
Sun, February 15, 2009 When a person is overtaken and thrown from love?
How is it that “teen” porn sites have such power?
What does it mean when one-dimensional, objectified stimulation enters a relationship?
What does it mean when one person’s heart breaks differently than another?
WHY do losses become compounded?
Reader Comments (10)
when blindness overtakes, which i do not think is always done on a conscious level.. i hope as i try to do that they will become aware of the blinders, learn from this and work towards moving forward with eyes and heart open...
pornography and to add rape, sexual abuse.. these things i cannot fathom why anyone could feel that the sites, the actions of one onto another and the result of ones actions are not viewed as damaging by those involved...
if it is more important than the relationship the person is blinded through a sickness and is in need of help...
not knowing what more lies behind these questions my answers stop here.. the above just my brief opinions as to my personal interpretation of the questions with additional thoughts that came to me.
Lucy.....you know we love you. Like Joanne, without knowing what lies behind the questions......it's hard to offer up ideas/answers. You have been through so much......more than most could endure. From my own experience, sometimes we have to be selfish to heal ourselves. We aren't ready for relationships, we can't solve others problems. Because we have to take care of ourselves first. Until you find peace within yourself.....and feel strong......everything else can/should wait. Focus on yourself......find your answers......find your inner peace, if it's possible. Everything else will follow.
one can only take A step and A breath at a time; but how tiring it must be for one to hear that advice for 2 years, 8 months, and 28 days as the losses compound. one can know that so many people love her, but it's not the same. one could reach out...because all we really have are the other "ones". xoxo
oh luce, we need to have a good talk.
I wish I could answer any of your questions but all I know is that I am always surprised by people. I have no control over anyone but me. I wish I did though. Love,
What does it mean when blindness to one is sight to the other? What does it mean when what one says is love ends up as non-love to the other? That communication has broken down? That the planets no longer align for the formerly happy couple? Perhaps that things change and that hearts change and that even the best love changes?
What does it mean? The answer comes from having to ask the question in the first place. Love shouldn't hurt, it should hold you up. Hurt compounds.....you don't need any more of that. Focus your energy on healing yourself (as best you can) and pray the rest will take care of itself. So easy to say I know.........
Most excellent thought provoking thinking. I want to change the words and see what happens. But first to the responses because each one made me think.
Joanne, you are right that blindness is I guess partial or entire, or feigned too I guess. Sometimes I think I might read through this site and find more of my own blinders, in a way I hope so because being embarrassed by what I find (like right now I cannot seem to spell the word embareassed because I always want to spell it like bare assed) or feeling regret I know now I can handle. I think the objectification of one dimensional visuals is the norm, and Joanne you can tune into empathy in ways that I have to work to get to. I somehow cannot equate it all, but you are right, I just didn't think too hard in that direction.
Shirley, I like the perspective a lot. Because if I do not have that peace, groundedness, clarity, then it all gets skewed, even in asking the questions, or suggesting the solutions.
Chris, it is starting to sink in, finally, and I know you, and the others here have hoped and loved and cared and I have wondered and worried if it ever would but GUESS WHAT??? It is... yay. I believe I was in a numbing circle before, but like Sue mentioned on another post, I always felt something was not right with what happened, beyond the obvious of course.
Halsk let's hang out soon.
Sue, I agree, and wish I could get it through my thickening skull that I am the only one who can choose for me.
Al, oh Al, this brings me back to thinking times. How all that is different could really be all the same in Platonia.
Beth, no love should not hurt, but truly... who says it shouldn't and why? I agree to focus, and refocus and step back into life.
Please no kid gloves for me - if I am blind BRING IT ON!!
Lucy - even if it's all the same in Platonia, that's speaking to how it is at the end of time, but we really don't have any direct experience of that except as a distant intellectual concept... or the whispers of our faith. We're stuck experiencing what the temporal being can experience. Keep in mind what Julian had to say about altering the wave forms. We can't undo time, but we can remain open to what each new day offers and resolve to bend the wave form to our best advantages. I offer my own questions simply to let you know that whatever this struggle entails for you, it's similar to what Jen and I and many couples experience as they struggle to write their story.
It all seemed so hopeless at one time to me, but putting aside judgment and just focusing on me, I could let my own story unfold. And in the unfolding, something resembling that inner peace arrived and suddenly I could do something more than hope. Together or alone I could work on reclaiming my world.
There's nothing to bring on. We learn by going where we need to go. "I'll step lightly there..." With love and respect.
a
that those who are opportunists see things that we do not see, think things we cannot and then do things as part of their plan... thinking that as strong as one might appear, it is that very strength that attracts the weak, the lost and the sick posing as knights in armor... thinking that when one is at such odds with just breathing is the perfect time to take advantage.