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Wednesday
28Nov2007

November 28 2007

Oh Bean..

She is right.  Here, on this site, it is true that I am misrepresenting myself falsely.   For the first time ever in my life I have a false front. 

It was once thick and rock solid, attached with safety pins and rubber cement, sewn tight by fishing line and dental floss so tough it could have towed a small boat.  It had pockets on both sides - the front pockets carried cue cards of how to be “happy,” or how to look like I was “having fun.”  The inside pockets I stuffed with quotes of faith and reason and hope offerred by people who love me, us.  It was nothing anyone needed to see but me.  The pockets have been turned inside out or soaked with tears.  They are empty.  Out I go with a the thinnest veil I dye each and every night a different color to match that of the world’s expecatations, or what I think they are. 

I falsely misrepresent myself because honestly I could not enter the world at all if I did not.  Who wants to look at that?  It is unacceptable to feel so sorry.  For oneself or circumstances.  I am tired and I say every night how I cannot do this anymore.  I ask God to let me go.  Clear snot pours out of my nose and the salt from my face is on my pillow every morning.   I am the definition of self-pity.  I look as though I can go on, as though I care to.  I cannot. I appear strong and “better.”  I am a big fake Booze.  I want this to be over.  I want the pain to kill me. 

Your words are haunting now… the words you, as a brave and loving 15 year old posted on this blog.

  1. B.Z. Says:

    I recently came across this blog, and I felt that I should share my thoughts.

    I know Lucy personally, and there is no need to say if I am a patient or not.

    I think that these charges are ridiculous. I bet that if the Fox 25 Episode didn’t air, none of this would be happening. Lucy would be continuing to help her patients as she helps me. Personally, I don’t give a shit if My therapist is licensed. I do care that she has some experience and knows what she is talking about. Lucy went to many years of school, studying Psychology and the way the mind works. She is always there for me, and she is one of the kindest and caring people I know.

    It makes me cry, thinking of how all of this is affecting her. Not because of business, but emotionally as well. This is a human being we are dealing with. Who dedicated her life to helping the lives of others. Who spent hours and hours every single day, trying to figure out and help treat the issues that others were trying to overcome. It is truly amazing how she did all of that, while at the same time having a life and family of her own.

    I understand, how people who do not know her can assume what they read is all there is to this story. But I ask you all, do you remember high school, and rumors and gossip. This is exactly like that. Hey, some of it may be true, but what about the other sides of the story. Give her a chance to speak her side. There are so many cases out there, that turn out to be false. And the suspects remain innocent. And even cases where the suspects are charged, convicted, and punished, for crimes that they did not do.

    No matter what happens, I will stand by Lucy through all of this, because she stood by me when things weren’t going well for me. I know you can get through this Lucy. I know you can. You are such a good person and I want to thank you for still standing up for yourself. In the end, I hope everything turns out well. You don’t deserve this at all.

    Stay strong and don’t give up.

     

    B.Z. Says:

    All I really have left to say is, Imagine being in Lucy’s position right now. All the stuff she is having to deal with. It is amazing how she keeps it all together. In my opinion, if this was all a lie, she wouldn’t be fighting this hard to gain her respect back. It makes me happy to see that some of the people in here are supporting her 100 %.

     

    And your response to the same person (s) that are now leaving comments here… 

    B.Z. Says:

    Carole must be a pretty heartless bitch to write something so terrible. If she even knew how much time and money Lucy put into helping other people, it would be a smack in her face.

    Sure, she made a small mistake in naming her company. BIG DEAL. And who are you to say that she is a heartless criminal?

    You have no idea lady. NO idea. I know her enough to say that she has put everything into her work. And it wasn’t even all for the money either. She enjoyed making other people happy. She spent her own money buying games, testing materials, furniture, and unnescessary materials that added to the joy in being in her building.

    It wasn’t a scam. At all. She took a lot of time out of her life to study and get her phd. Whether some of you believe that it is real or not, she has it. I can’t believe you (Carole) could say such mean words.

    Grow up! Oh my god she was a stripper!! Wow let’s make a huge deal out of it. She had a nice body & pretty face. Just because you might not doesn’t mean you have to make fun of her for it. It has NO relation to this case. It’s history. past. We shouldn’t be living in the past.

    If you saw Lucy, and didn’t recieve the help you needed, you should’ve left. And what kind of pain did she cause people huh? I understand a small amount from people seeing the news story and hearing about her past and that she is not licensed. Not, as you put it “terrible pain and torture.” But she didn’t tell people she was licensed. How could you say that she deserves jail time for that? She has a family and life too. You are acting like the victim Carole, but your cruelty is just sickening.

    How do you think her daughter and rest of her family feels about all of this. And if her daughter ever came across this blog, which im not doubting she has, I’m sure it made her feel even better. Lucy has been through enough already. And if you knew her as well as I did, you would understand that.

    And lastly, I can’t believe you called HER mean. Read over what you wrote and tell me who is the mean one.

    Lucy, Stay strong in this you have my support

     

     

    B.Z. Says:

    I just watched the news and Lucy, you’re suit looked very nice!

    You looked so sad though. I hate that you have to go through this.

     

    And in response to again the same person (s) who wrote “

    I do feel sorry for her daughter, but Lucy should have thought about that when she passed herself off as something she was not. What kind of mother would jeopordize her kid’s happiness and security like that anyway?

    A very bad mother in my book”

     

    B.Z. Says:

    Well, I love how you are comparing her to a terrorist. That is very classy, shows how intelligent you are.

    And No, she did not pay me. Apparently we differ in our opinions of the word “friend”. I am her friend, but she doesn’t pay me for it.

    And you shouldn’t be so sure that her PhD isn’t accepted until the trial.

    I’m not blaming her “victims”. I am saying that no one seemed to have a problem with her until money was involved. And if they didn’t like her treatments then they shouldn’t of continued with her. It seems that More patients are with her than against her. If the media wasn’t involved, I’m sure things would be different. If she was never a stripper, there would’ve never even been a story. Every headline says something involving that.

    How is spending 7 years or more in college studying Psychology not real school? She did the work. And she has proof. You just wait and see.

    And also, I understand the legal portion of this. The trial will determine the verdict of that. In my opinion, she has plenty of proof of her education and she will be just fine in the end.

    And this isn’t a support group. Ken posted the story, it wasn’t a very opinionated story either. It was basically what was on the news. And now people are sharing their comments.

    Well lets see, if she was a con artist and supposedly stealing peoples money, then why would she be a person with “little money”. That doesn’t seem to fit very well. Oh hey, maybe it’s because she wasn’t conning anybody and she spent a lot of her profit on things for her office. Who would go through all those years of school and all that money renting out an office and buying things for it in order to scam people? That seems pretty pointless.

    As for misrepresentation, From the years I have known her, she has told me she was not licensed. And that there was not that much of a point in doing that. As long as her patients knew she had completed her education and obtained a phD, they would know she was as educated as they expected.

    I saw Lucy and her daughter recently and she is behind her mom the whole way. So don’t even try and call her a bad mother. Why don’t you figure out your own life before you critcize someone elses. You obviously need something fixed because you are COLD.

     

    B.Z. Says:

    I understand Carole is angry, but I have no sympathy for someone who can’t even look at the story from a different perspective.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     


 

Reader Comments (6)

Lucy, please hold on. You must not give in to the pain. Too many people love you here and they will be devastated if you give up. Me, being one of them. When I was ready to let go, you helped people reach out to me and it gave me something to hold onto. You would not let me go into the darkness, Lucy and I will not let you go either. You must remember our pact, if you go I go. Fight Lucy fight!! I know it is hard and I know you feel you just don't have the energy or strength to carry on anymore. I understand, truly I do. Your heart is shattered and your soul is damaged beyond repair but it is not your time to go. We must carry on, each with our own pain and despair weighing us down. Hold onto the love that is around you, in you, for you. Know that I love you and would do anything for you. Anything but the one thing you probably want most of all, to let go... I cannot and will not do that. I will never let you go.
Please I ask of the friends that are close to Lucy that see her regularly, hold onto her and don't let her go into the darkness.
You are a special light in this dark world my friend, always remember just how truly loved you are. Stay strong Reach out Hold on

Thu, November 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLucy's treasured one

Stay strong Lucy. You have a mission to go on. It may be one without Torri or is it? She is here. She's guided us to you as friends and as guidance for your sanity. You've done an extraordinary thing today. It's in the papers and someone told me it was on the radio. Call me when you want whenever and don't hesitate. I've been known to be a pretty good listener. Torri's spirit will only build and reach further than imagined. Never give up. Some of us truly want to give you a day in March that will truly brighten your spirits. Something remarkable from people who truly care. It's coming together Lucy. So much more than I though could. I didn't lose hope. I carry that bracelet around with me EVERYWHERE. I squeeze it tight when I'm nervous or when I'm missing something within myself. I look at it knowing the power Torri has over me. You are truly an amazing person. You do not misrepresent yourself falsely. If anything, you've opened yourself to the world and your feelings. Your pain only makes me want to fight stronger for Torri's cause.

Please Lucy, don't...let...go.

Thu, November 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMessenger of Bean

Haven't been around for days, and reading this post breaks my heart. I love you Lucy, I miss you, and I'm coming to see you. No more quiet for me.

Wed, December 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Dear Torri,

It's me again, Chris. I need your help. I haven't seen your Mom since the Red Sox won the World Series,..no, not in 1918 or 2004, in October...but it seems like a lifetime ago to me. When I read her words above, I want to go charging in, but I've been honoring her quiet time. Lucy's treasured one is begging her friends to hold onto Lucy and not let her go into the darkness. I'm not sure what my role is. I don't want to disrespect Lucy, but I can't let her slip into darkness. What should I do Torri? please give me a sign.

Thu, December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Torri is telling you Lucy....just listen.....the last line of each entry she wrote:

Stay strong and don't give up.

It makes me happy to see that some of the people in here are supporting her 100%.

Lucy, stay strong in this you have my support.

You looked so sad though. I hate that you have to go through this.

I say Lucy and her daughter recently, and she is behind her Mom the whole way.

Her message is there, Lucy.....she is here.

Fri, December 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Even when she typed these words you know she wrote them to you. not to Carole or the other blog readers. You do know that Lucy. And you know she blinked or rolled an eye as she tacked on that "E" at the end of Carol. But did you know, as I think she knew, without knowing, that these words would be so right for you to hear from her and have from her during what would come?

Sun, December 9, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterinky

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