I need the Red Ball or else I won’t eat.  The Blond One better be there too, sitting, with no threat of getting up to “do something else.”  This means having the white thin block in her lap, or a New Yorker with those turning pages, or ideally she is actually ON THE FLOOR with me.

I like each crumb, one at a time.  Before getting to the point of crunching while looking over my withers, one side back and forth each crumb, the Red Ball is rolled only onto soft patches for me to retrieve.  I never know how many times.  Whatever I want. 

I like to get the Red Ball and avoid her hand before charming her for another roll.  I am good at batting it in designs around my Tipsy Bowl, getting closer and closer, with shorter bats between my two front ones.  No Red Ball = No Eat. 

It squeaks, the Red Ball.  It’s as close to talking, as I will ever get.  I use the Red Ball to attain a variety of Poodle necessities such as walks, rides upstairs to bed, wrestling and play time, food etc.  You Taller Ones make life so complicated by not just asking or stating what you want.

When she comes in the door, or down the stairs, or out from another room it is all the same, as though she had been away, never to return, like the Tall One that left.  I get excited and extra extra happy.  It makes me want to eat!!  Even though I am not hungry per se, I want her to know that I need her each and every time she has been out of eyesight.

This brings me to another point… You Taller Ones, or Lower Legs, I never hear or see or smell the need in you.  I want the Blond One to need me so bad!  Most times she does get on the floor.  Ahh I could let her look at my eyes endlessly.

Cool I thought, finally a walk.  There we are then.  I am like, Hey, Jesus behind that bush, quit following me, WE have a walk to do!

So we get to the walk.  It was so great she didn’t even have to throw the ball!!

And I got busy not once but twice. Ahhh I couldn’t wait for whatever was next.

The Blond One decided to rest on The Tall One’s  grass.  I think she is way tired. 

Anyway it felt good watching her rest because I could tell it felt so restful.

I take my usual place in between them on the bed, kind of towards the feet.  I kind of wished 

The Tall One, Torri, would play again.  But it’s OK.  She maybe still plays and I am too

doggish and not smart enough to see it with my eyes.  You can see my ball here.

 I see some action today… a few squirrels, some squirrly birds, then

this lone goose honks by in a circle twice.  Eh I think.  What is she doing

because I sense an upcoming movement in her.  Yep.  She gets up

to sit against the tree.  Naturally I accompany her.  We are sitting pleased

as can be, she is touching me on that mother neck skin (oh my God I LOVE

that).  I have no sense like before so she tenses and I am ready to protect

and serve here on our hill.  Stand back!  The lens cover comes off the silver

case and I understand now.

She didn’t notice at the time though how, at the end of the 3 seconds,

the rainbow TURNED INTO A BALL!!

If I was some kind of whiz at the machine I would spice it up so you

could see the ball better.  Next we meander back to the blue car. 

She keeps talking about the clouds, how she has never seen a

blue one before.  I heard her thinking some other day not today

how this one-time-friend-so-she-thought called her psychotic and

she said of course she was because of all the hearts everywhere.

I did not understand. 

I just want some grass so I find some on top of that drawing The Tall

One did before she went back home forever.  See here I am.  Can you see

me?  I am the reddish dot above the ivy.  Don’t let me fall.

So I am eating delectable tendrils and she is taking pictures of hearts

and blue clouds and letter clouds in between

hide and seek with me.

See if you can find me here OK?  I am pretty much the red patch in the middle.

The reason I would rather just suck down some grass juice is because I know, not with my

doggish eyes, but I just know with My Knowing what is around ALL THE TIME.  Can you see

it?  Just try OK?  It’ll be fun.

After poving mews my next challenge is to see how long I can live on X amount of money.  As heartwrenching as it is, I have taken the Steiffs out of their bags and interviewed each animal individually.  All were well-mannered and cooperative throughout with no evidence of distorted thinking.  Each bear, bunny, giraffe, camel, goose, parrot and kitten gleefully stepped into the photo booth, knowing they had lost their Master to an incomprehensible disappearance. Then there was this…